Changes...

I just re-read September's post.  Funny how quickly things change.  The break was nice, but we realized we actually did need more to do. We signed Lili Mei up for a ballet class for 3 year olds so she could get some exercise. She loves it.  This month she started preschool two days a week for 2 hours so she could have some interactions with other kids (since we aren't in a homeschool co-op here, she was only getting to play with other kids on Sundays).  It is completely non-academic and purely play, which is exactly what she needed. It gives Lauren and me a little break and allows us to have some quiet a few hours a week. Lili Mei is anxious to play piano, but that will definitely have to wait until we move.  I'm not ready to supervise a 3 year old's practice time!  Tiger Mom--NOT!

And it's time to start the whole prosthesis process over again as Lili Mei is beginning to outgrow the last one.  Wish me luck...

GOTCHA! Day, year THREE!!!

This post is, I think, a little different from the rest.  I'm going to be a little more revealing here.  I have read so many accounts of the most glorious adoptions--where the children just melded right into the new families, blossomed, thrived; never a negative experience; bliss.  At first I thought our experience was just an anomaly.

Then it occurred to me: it is not an anomaly--people in our shoes just don't tell anyone what is going on! Well, I'm going to. 

 Two years ago yesterday we met Lili Mei for the first time.  Although that was not her name back then, she was already Lili Mei to us. We felt attached to her from the moment we found out about her. Really, we had only known her for less than five months when she was placed in our arms--well, I say we knew her--we only knew OF her.  We knew she was a cutie pie from the first precious pictures we received in an email from CCAI saying they had a file for us to look at.  We knew she was a waiting-child because she had a physical "special need." We knew she was "a bit stubborn." And...well, that's about all we knew.  We accepted her on faith, knowing from the very beginning of the adoption process that our baby was chosen for us, and we for her.  

The past two years have definitely not been a walk in the park.  We could tell from the first moments we met her that it was not going to be one of those dreamy, blissful, all-we-ever-imagined-it-would-be adoptions.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  We knew it.  The three other couples in our travel group surely knew it. And at home in Virginia, I’m pretty sure every child in her Sunday School class who had been hit, scratched or bitten knew it.  Nope, this would not be easy.  And it has not been.  But has it been worth it? I have to say “Yes!” Would I recommend adopting a toddler? Absolutely. Does her “special need” factor in?  In the big scheme of things, I’d have to say maybe a little, but not much really. 

No, it’s the tantrums, the anger that doesn’t seem possible in someone who has lived only forty months total, the tears and throwing things, the yelling and screaming and the unkind words, the banging on doors and walls with her feet and her back and her hands and her toys (I’m pretty sure we’ll be replacing her bedroom door before we move in a few months).  The torn books.  The rejected playthings.  Basically, just pushing us away physically and emotionally. Yep.  That’d be Lili Mie’s m.o. 

And then after awhile (sometimes an incredibly LONG while) she calms down, gets control of herself, apologizes, and asks for forgiveness.  And we forgive her. Just as we are forgiven. And we tell her we love her.  No matter what.  Just like our Savior loves us unconditionally.  And we tell her we will never leave her.  Just like our Savior will never leave us.  She is in our family forever. Just as those who trust Christ as their Savior are adopted into the family of God—forever. Beyond forever. This fiery little person is a constant physical reminder of all we have in Christ. That is my joy.

GOTCHA! Day.  It is bittersweet.  I definitely feel blessed to have been given (loaned) my two beautiful daughters to raise, teach, nurture, discipline, love during my time here on earth. I fondly reminisce about my pre-adoption life with only one child, nearly a teenager at that time.  I have to admit, I felt like life was pretty good. Easy, in fact.  I had it figured out.  But this—this new life is so different. Dare I say—hard? 

Yet watching this little girl with half a right foot do ballet, or run, or jump on a trampoline is inspiring.  Listening to her play with her imaginary friends is amusing. Hearing the excitement in her voice as she reads letters on boxes of food, the underside of a dish, a banana sticker…so fun!  Her sense of humor keeps me laughing.  Her intelligence shocks me.  Her gumby-like body astounds me. Her sweet smile melts my heart. Holding her in my lap as we rock; cuddling under a blanket on the couch; snuggling in her bed with a dozen books to read together—this is what it’s all about.

And as I kiss her goodnight and walk out of her room, she smiles and says, “It’s good to be in a family.”

GOTCHA! What more can I say? We've got each other.  It goes both ways. That's the reality of our adoption. And it is just how it is supposed to be.

Lili Mei turns 3!

September 16th our Lili Mei turned three years old.  Today she has been with us 20 months.  

"Gotcha Day" Jan.17, 2011

I can't believe how much she has changed from the crying little 16 month old we first met, to the energetic, happy, loving, beautiful little preschooler she is now.  Still as stubborn as ever, though.

Lili last September (2011)-2 years old

Lili Mei this September (2012)-3 years old

Our fairy is flying!

Preschool.  I can't believe I have a preschooler.  And a Freshman.  Huh?

Anyway....

first day of school, 2012

Lili Mei is learning to read! She asks to "do preschool" and fetches the book we are using to teach her reading--she sits in her little desk she picked out at Sam's Club for her birthday for about 2-3 lessons (which is literally about 2 minutes), and is doing great with the first four letters (a, m, s, long e).






Since "preschool" consists of those lessons, cutting, glue-sticking, play dough-ing, coloring and drawing, reading books, reinforcing shapes and colors, counting and generally learning about life as it comes, I'd say we are having a pretty good time with it. Once I reminded myself she still has about three years before I *have* to do school with her, I relaxed a little rather than adding a burden to our homeschool day. She got a sand table for her birthday from the grandparents, as well as some flannel letters, numbers, and a Bible story, so we have some new distractions for her when Lauren is doing school or studying. Lili Mei is notorious for getting out ALL of her musical instruments and playing them all at once at just the right time. She can be quite the pest!

Lili Mei loves Sundays because she gets to go to church; every day she wakes up and asks, "Is it Sunday?  We go to church?"  But other than her Sunday School class, we have purposely not put Lili in any activities here in our new location (we moved to another state in June--you may not have known about that)--no dance, no gymnastics, no AWANA, no kids choir at church, no MOPS, no music lessons, no Pre-School co-op, nothing.  My mantra here is "just because we can do it doesn't mean we have to."  Poor kid, but mommy needs a break from over-scheduling for a bit.   Lili's time will come. Lauren is the one who keeps us running around to TaeKwonDo, fencing, Zumba, youth group, volunteering, and let us not forget the teen-age necessity of frequent visits to the mall (what is with the smell in Aeropostale, by the way?  eesh.).  So, yeah... Mommy's tired....

But I love my girls.  Probably wouldn't trade 'em-- hmmm.... Nope.  Wouldn't.

Happy birthday to my sweet three year old monkey.  May it be a blessed year. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

New "Lili Shoe"

Here's the update from the mundane post about the new prosthesis we got Lili Mei.

We went out to the hospital recently to pick up the new "Lili Shoe" as it is known in our house, knowing that we'd be there about four hours while they painted it and waited for it to dry.  I didn't get great photos, but what an amazing process it was.  First, here are some photos from the first visit where they coated Lili Mei's feet in some sort of plastic goop to make the impression for a wax mold.  (By the way, you can see more of the amazing work Alternative Prosthetic Services does at their website.)

First attempt was to get her to stand on it.  That did NOT work!

Second attempt was to goop up her entire foot. He had to work fast!!!

Both feet are cast so the left foot can be used as a model for the prosthesis. (They'll look at size, wrinkles, creases, pores...everything!) Once this hardened in about a minute, it was just stretched a bit and pulled off like a shoe.

























After all this was done, we waited several weeks, and finally went back out to the hospital to pick up the new prosthesis. We got to see the wax molds and several of the silicone "feet" they made.

This is the wax mold of Lili Mei's right foot inside the actual prosthesis before it is painted

The Neutrogena cream is all we have to use to get the foot on.  You spread a little on the inside of the  "foot" and on Lili Mei's foot and it pops right on like a sock.

You can see how the right foot fits into the prosthesis and there is lots of empty space.  

Lili Mei investigates

The funniest/scariest thing happened after I asked how delicately we should treat the foot.  The prosthetist stretched it hard and said something to the effect  of, "This silicone is really strong--you don't need to worry about that--it can withstand"--SNAP!! Um, what just happened there...the thing ripped completely apart.  Well, fortunately it was one of the junk ones.  He (laughingly) explained as he saw the look of terror on my face that they have to make several at once because each one progressively takes more wax off the mold to sort of clean it up, and when the mold is completely clean, the final one (or ones) are made.  So this was one of the first ones made, which still probably had wax on it, weakening it.  He promised me that would not happen to the one we took home, but you should see how carefully I put it on Lili Mei!

Next they painted it.  That was fascinating.  The young woman who did this part mixed several colors until she found the shade we thought looked pretty close to Lili Mei's coloring, then got going on painting the inside of the foot.

Putting on the toenail!

The spot where the big toenail goes was left open throughout the process because this is where they inject the filler to add body and weight to the foot where it is empty.  So all the front toes were filled up, and the whole front of the shoe. Once that is done and it dries, they glue the toenail on to hide the hole.  It is the only "real" toenail.  I think this is also something that would be different on a larger foot--I'm pretty sure all the toenails are "real" because they want the prosthesis to blend in and be as natural as possible.  A person can even paint the nails (but Lili Mei could only paint her big toe, so we don't).

The finished foot (well, except they still need to cut off all that extra height at the ankle). A bit vinegar smelling at first, but that goes away after about 2 days. 

The prosthetist, Bob, and the young woman who did the painting.

Because Lili Mei is so little, and this will likely have to be replaced frequently, they did not put the detail into it that they would have for an older person.  They were working on a hand and some fingers while we were there and it was unbelievable how realistic they looked!  They will paint veins and put hairs in even!  You can't see it in my photos, but they don't just paint the foot one solid color--it has different dimensions throughout the foot, and there is even a slight ruddiness where there would be pressure on the foot.

Once we got it home, we realized we had forgotten to have the top material cut down (so there was a huge gap once it was on), and there were some other issues with fit and her gait as well, so they had us send her old prosthesis and her new prosthesis together so they could match up the position of the mold of her foot (based on the old prosthesis) inside the new foot to improve her gait and fit.  The new one is awesome.  I don't have photos of her wearing it yet, but I'll try to remember to add them to this post when I can. The dollar is just so you can see how tiny it is. (Remember, they said they had never done one for a child before!)

Pretty real looking, right?!

Lili Mei does not like this one as well as the old one (we think it is because she finds it a little creepy), so it has become a bit of a struggle to get her to put it on. But once it is on, she is fine with it and wears it until we get home.  Usually we just put it on for church or going to the park or whenever she will be walking a lot and needs to wear shoes. Otherwise she is almost always barefoot and nothing can stop her. The silicone is supposed to be much more comfortable than her old vinyl foot, and cooler too.  She seems happy with it when she wears it, but does ask us to carry her a lot; I'm hoping there is not an issue with discomfort.

So there is the story of the Lili Shoe.

Blueberry Spelt Muffins

I found the yummiest recipe on the Whole Foods Market website!  The kids love these muffins (and so do I), and they are pretty easy to make.  I'm constantly trying to find fool-proof Michele-proof recipes to make using my WonderMill grain mill, and since spelt grain is expensive compared to regular wheat, I don't use it very often.  I bought it specifically to make Ezekiel bread, but do want to try it soaked and made into hot cereal in the crock pot.  That's supposed to be pretty tasty. But these muffins are delicious.  You absolutely can not beat the taste of fresh-milled grain, no matter how much your friends tease you for morphing into the stereotypical homeschool mom.

Lauren came running in as soon as she heard me taking them out of the oven and gobbled one up and is now on her second one.  A word of caution, especially if you aren't used to fresh-milled grains----how do I put this delicately...um...GO EASY ON THESE because they will clean you out, literally.

Here is the recipe exactly as it is on the Whole Foods website [with my comments in red]:
Ingredients
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) softened butter or canola oil, plus more for greasing the pan [ I use these amazing pans that require NO greasing--EVER! The muffins are a bit darker and crispier with oil than with butter]
2/3 Cup sugar
1/3 Cup unsweetened applesauce
2 eggs
1/2 Cup orange juice [when you make juice, freeze ice-cubes of orange juice so you have them on-hand for next time--I think i used about 5 or 6 and thawed them on half power in the microwave in a glass measuring cup]
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 Cups spelt flour [ I measure 1 1/3 Cups grain to get 2 Cups flour]
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon grated orange zest [both times I have made these I have used a Clementine (the whole skin yields about 1 tsp) because that is what I have had on hand--haven't tried with a regular orange]
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 Cups fresh blueberries

Method
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Butter a 12-cup muffin tin or line with paper muffin liners [again, since my pans don't stick, I don't use butter or liners]. In a large bowl, cream together butter or oil and sugar. Stir in applesauce, eggs [I beat them slightly first], orange juice and vanilla. I recommend mixing EACH ingredient before adding the next, making sure to add vanilla last, especially if you use butter because the vanilla makes everything curdly otherwise and it looks nasty!!!

In a second large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, zest and salt. Stir flour mixture into butter-egg mixture until just combined. Gently stir in blueberries. Spoon batter into muffin cups [ a big ice-cream scooper filled completely should give you 12 scoops] and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, about 30 minutes [today's were a little dry, so I think I should have pulled them out a few minutes sooner, but it could have been that I used oil instead of butter].

Waiting for the reward

These are just so yummy I had to share.

Don't read this if you can't stand the mundane

Yippee!  Today Lili Mei met with a different doctor about the possibility of a new prosthetic. The one we received in August has a zipper which is now cutting into her skin and actually leaving a mark! So we wanted to see what the possibility was for something different. (Don't worry...it ends well.)

Here's how it went.

Our 45 minute drive to the hospital turned into two hours.  I knew I was in trouble when I pulled up to the corner to turn onto the main street coming out of our neighborhood and my GPS said, "Severe traffic ahead, recalculating."  But there was no traffic.  Yet.  I checked my iPhone...the interstate was red.  Red.  Reeeeeddddddd.  Ok, no big deal--I had an hour and 45 minutes til our appointment.  We'd be fiiiiiiiiiine
...the GPS was taking me a different way.  Each time I followed a command, it was worse. Stopped.  And this was BETTER than the interstate?  Ugh.

I think I did not drive faster than 15 miles per hour for 30 miles.

Oh.

my.

gosh.

When we finally did arrive at our destination, we spent 10 minutes sitting 3 cars back at a stop sign right outside the garage I wanted to go into, with the construction guy stopping traffic  in both directions while a truck tried to unload a dumpster.  Forward a little.  Back, turn, forward a little.  Back, turn....AAAAGGGGH.  Tip the bed, release the dumpster.  Forward a little...Ok, now we are getting somewhere.  No.  Back up, load the next dumpster onto the bed.  Forward a little, back, forward...

FINALLY.

So I get through the stop, pull up to the garage--and am turned away by the attendant who tells me the lot is full.  Drove towards the other lot along with everyone else who had been stopped so long, so I kept going.  To the biggest lot on the grounds.  One thousand spaces, I was told.  Floor 1--Full.  Floor 2--Full.....Floors 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9--FULL.  The electronic sign said floor 10 had 49 spaces.   I drive around the first floor and it spit me out onto the street. WHAAAT?  U-Turn. Back around, and up the next floor--now the sign says floor 10 has 48 spaces.  Up another floor.  Floor 10 now has 46 spaces.  Where are these invisible people taking up the spaces on the 10th floor?  Up another floor--ok, I don't know how many floors I actually went up because the first level wasn't actually the first floor on that side or something, but miracle of miracles, I'm on floor 6 and there is a space RIGHT next to the elevator--a guy had JUST pulled out!  Yey.  I thanked the Lord.  Things were looking up.  So I go down a few floors, walk through the parking lot, up the ramp, and find my way out.  More construction.  Up the hill.  In the cold.  And it's windy.  Poor Lili Mei.  At least I had a stroller blanket in the car, and a hat she had smuggled into the back seat, and lined driving gloves in the glovebox  (See, it pays to have junk in the car.  Anyone need some goldfish or pretzel crumbs?).

And did I mention I had a huge mug of coffee?  Which I drank for 2 hours?  Um...yeah.

We finally arrived at the correct location in the hospital, checked in and were seen almost immediately.  Wow!  After speaking briefly to the doc about our situation, he went out and rounded up a prosthetist, who happened to bring in a sample of EXACTLY what I had been envisioning for Lili Mei's foot.  It was perfect.  Precisely what I had described to our first prosthetist (but not what we ended up with!). Although he has never personally made one of these for a child, and this will be somewhat trial and error, he is willing to take on the task.

Impressions of Lili Mei's feet were taken--reluctantly, under my restraint, quite against her will--everyone in that wing surely heard her!  Now we just wait to find out if our insurance will approve and cover it.   If so, we'll have something she might even be able to put on by herself in time.  If not...well, I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

We were told it was serendipity that this particular prosthetist was there today.

No it wasn't.

I believe we were just where we were supposed to be at 10:45 this morning.  Traffic, parking, weather ...all part of His plan.  Who knew?

Psalm 139:16--the verse I have at the head of this blog.  He knows.

He even knew I was going to lose one glove out of my pocket on the walk back to the car.  Rats.

Gotcha! Day anniversary--ONE YEAR!!!

None of us can believe a whole year has flown by already.  One year ago we arrived at the registration office in Zhengzhou, China, where we received our precious second daughter.  She cried and screamed and was generally miserable for days (and more!), but one year later we can't imagine life without her.  Lauren said, "It seems like she has always been with us!"  This from a kid who was an only child for 12 years!

Life has been crazy around here with Lauren doing her play, and poor Lili Mei has been toted here and there with not a whole lot of fun in between. So as far as a blog entry goes, this is about the best I can do for now.

Here are some things I love about Lili Mei:

She loves loves loves books.

When she says her name, it sounds like Lili May Pung (Lili Mei Feng)

She counts, "One, two, fee, fo, fi, NINE!"

Her favorite color is yellow (or so she says), although most of her clothes are pink.

She totally dresses herself--even socks and shoes--and tries to put on her "lili shoe" [prosthetic foot] by herself, pretending to rub silicone gel on her foot and everything.

She loves her big sister and wants to do everything the way "Lolen" does

She is funny and makes us laugh, and she loves to laugh too.

She has a brain like a computer and never forgets ANYTHING!

When happily eating, she will say, "Mmmm....yum. Good. I'm enjoying."

She loves to pray, and prays for people by name...and their house, and the toy store, and the park, .......

She gives hugs and kisses, but often pats us on the shoulder or head (because in a book, "Mommy monkey loves her baby with a pat").

She has a crooked smile.

She is brave.

She is strong.

She let me accidentally give her a bowl haircut.

She uses please, thank you, you're welcome and excuse me most of the time!

She loves to sing and dance.

She likes watching operas.

She adores all things Curious George and Pooh.

She tells me, "Mama, you need teach me bio-lin [violin].  I play oboe too."  (We'll see!!!)

She can operate an iPad, iPhone and iTouch better than mommy.

She knows what she wants.

She is loved.

 She is a gift from the Lord.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."--Proverbs 13:12